Thursday, September 30, 2010

Addiction


Self sacrifice can be an addiction. There are causes and feelings so overwhelming, so overpowering that one could easily give one’s life for it; just give oneself away while still rejoicing the fact that your are attached to something so elemental, so fundamental, so pure. It can only be described as a madness resulting from a heartburn, pining for something. A rush of adrenaline, an aching desire that drives one nuts.

A simple example could be our revolutionary freedom fighters, the likes of Bhagat Singh, Azad, Bismil etc. An outsider will only consider them insane or a maniac. Only a mania can inspire an action like bombing and then standing there to surrender just to get the message through. Only unadulterated passion can inspire a poetry like that of Bismil. If you will listen the song carefully Sarfaroshi ki tamanna, you will realize that it just does something to you. A similar feeling would have led to the ballads of Curt Cobain and other musicians. People just go crazy for music. People like Curt even die for it.

After running out of money with which Anurag Kashyap had come to Mumbai to do something in films, he spent eight months on the streets, staying in lofts, sleeping on beaches and even under a water tank and in the St Xavier's boys hostel. He came from a good family. What inspired such careless, reckless living? It was nothing but the same fever, same longing that cuts through all physical pain, material discomforts. And you enjoy that longing, that feverish attachment, that amalgamation; you have fun; you are at peace with your passion. Socials workers like Aruna Roy who have given their all (she draws a salary of Rs. 100 a day from the organization called MKSS, which she herself had established) fall in a similar league. They are people riding there own theme, undeterred.

Once you find a passion and get a taste of it, you don’t care anymore. You are above physical and material desires. You want to just dissolve yourself, melt away, submerge yourself in that intoxication. Even a distant whiff can start dragging you towards that insanity, that inebriated state where everything else is forgotten. You don’t care about anything else. Such passion leads to genius, to creativity.

I have myself experienced such force, such pulls that if you let go will drag you into blissful self destruction. But its not so easy to break the bonds. Rationality of everyday life come into play. But may be one day I will.

I will end with a quote from the Joker in The Dark Knight - “Madness as you know is like gravity, all you need is a little push.”

4 comments:

Animall said...

My most favourite bit of this post :-
'you are at peace with your passion'
I think it says it all. Would love to know what are you passionate about lately. The funny thing is that my parents always thought that you are more level-headed and pragmatic of the three of us :)
Cheers to life mate!

Vikas Gelara said...

someday, sometime..i wish i find peace..

Dutta said...

Back after a long time, nice ..

A great post marred by the mention of Kurt Cobain ... I am not sure he died for his passion of Music ...

aakansha said...

good read ....but I feel move out of speaking wht is obvious and known. Like the way you have used these lines .....you are at peace with your passion' ...awesm and inspiring ..