DON'T CALL THAT LOVE

Break up. One more.. many more.
It all started few years back; took quite a while to dawn on me and now that I am dead sure; I thought I should share my feelings with with you.

If I have to summarize this whole article I would say in simple words-

There is nothing called love.
Other things are just a matter of detail.

So it begins….

Break up. One more.. many more.
In past few days I have heard so many couples break up and for such cruel reasons that it reconfirms my faith that human beings are actually the most sophisticated animals on earth for they have got the gift of reason, the meticulousness to distinguish between what the heart desires and where the brain guides.

Let us take some simple cases. Boy and girl going out together for 3 years or more, seemingly inseparable, living at the same place. Boy has to move out to different city for a job and the girl very soon finds a more ‘suitable’ guy. I am not taking the pain here to describe the adjective ‘suitable’, and leave it to the readers to fathom its vulgarity. Another case. Boy and girl going out together for quite some time. Suddenly one of the partners starts feeling that the other one is encroaching her/his freedom. Break up. And these are the cases where the couple was going out for a fairly long time. I am not even exploring the short term relationships and the reasons for their break up. I just do not want to fool around with what ever sanity is left in me.

I find it difficult to understand as to what happens. Do you stop liking the other person completely? Or are you so overcome by your new found love that you totally ignore the old one? Or do you get fed up or do you get bored? I mean three years of so called love, passion, closeness, sharing, giving… I mean three years of those laughing together, giggling, those kisses and caresses, that looking into the eye, those endless talks on phone, those thousand I-love-you’s.. I mean three years…. What was that. I mean how three years could just vanish in thin air leaving behind all the room for everything similar but with a new companion.

I do not believe in love. To me it is too pure a concept to exist in this rascal world. I believe in trust, in taking-care, in understanding, in making compromises, in values, in desire, in romance, in attraction, in lust, in sex, in joy .. but for god’s sake don’t call that love.

I think the feelings one shares with a new partner is same as the one which one shared with the old; the new partner may turn out to be your life partner or may be replaced by a further new one; but the point is if both the feelings are same then it is not love for love to me can not be so week as to demand a new partner to overcome boredom. The old relationship broke up; this means that what you felt then what not love; and so the feeling now with the new partner is also not love for it’s the same feeling as the one which you felt with the old partner when he/she was new.

In a conversation with a friend few days back she told me that there is nothing wrong in having a boy friend. I said, true. She said that one would today generally not get married early in life and so one needs a partner to ‘be’ with. The justification was shocking or one can say revealing. After all man is a social animal.

To summarize once gain, I would define the modern love as nothing but the phantom butterflies in a ‘hungry’ stomach- a hunger which is an outcome of perfectly healthy desire, a completely natural need. But please don’t call that love.

p.s. -I am not trying to fault anyone here or get judgemental. We all belong to the same category. I am merely questioning or rather denying a notion.